I only got 4 hours of sleep last night because he was over for a while and now I have to get to campus for my advanced cell bio topics class, but I ain’t even mad because the sex is amazing. (wow, I hope he never finds my tumblr.)
I know it’s very early on, but the more I get to know him, the more I am convinced of our compatibility. He really isn’t at all like I imagined him to be as a person, but not in a bad way. He may be nine years older, but he’s such a child at heart.
What I really like about him, what guys in the past have been lacking in, is that he notices the little things. For example, the other day we were sitting next to each other reading our respective papers. I noticed he was looking over at me, so I asked him what? I had been underlining certain parts of the paper while highlighting others. He said he was trying to figure out the difference between the two - why I was highlighting certain parts but then would underline others. Little things like that.
The other day he said he would really like to watch the movies I call my favorite because he wants to get to know me in any way he can. Things like that I really appreciate.
I still can’t believe that he noticed me in the beginning of bio 20a spring quarter exactly two years ago. That he has also had a crush on me during this whole time. I still don’t believe him when he tells me he would stare at me in lecture and would have to force himself to look away. That he stood in front of the room after class specifically hoping I would come up to him and ask him questions. “Anything to try to get you to talk to me,” he said.
I had coached myself through multiple ways to graciously accept his rejection after I asked him out. I was expecting a no. I wasn’t expecting any of this.
when Arash told his mom about me, her first question was “What’s her nationality?” He told her I’m Russian.
His mom then responded, “NOOOOoooooooOooo. You’re just asking to get picked up by the government. You are half Iranian and half Chinese. And now you’re dating a Russian?! You really are America’s most wanted.”
someone pinch me
word vomit/stream of conc.
if things went right for me-
* I’d finally get hired at hope so I can start working and saving up for being on my own after fall quarter. also I can probably finally get a credit card bc income. get that credit score up.
* I need to attend the CC for calc and hopefully get one of my two remaining GEs out of the way. OF COURSE first week of classes at the CC coincides w finals week at UCSC (thanks for that timing, life). BUT I only have one actual final. still waiting on one class, but everything else looks like to be just hella papers to turn in WHICH I can do if I keep on fucking track throughout this quarter. Hella papers and hella presentations. (I am scared shitless when it comes to talking in front of groups of people but I’m going to have to figure it out for this quarter.) Catalogue of classes comes out April 11th so then I can see if there is a chance for that. Otherwise, I am so fucked regarding graduating.
* I probably don’t have a shot in hell, but I applied for a position as a medical scribe. I know I would do a great job. It’s kind of exactly what I need right now, but of course there will be other applicants w actual previous experience. -_-
* If I pull an A in this seminar-type cell bio topics class, letter of rec here I come. I got an A- in cell bio w the same prof so that puts me in a good place.
Get my dev psychopathology prof to like me because that class is about EXACTLY WHAT I AM INTERESTED IN (except I’d like a little more neuro in it).
I may have won my sr seminar prof over already.
* I manage to stay away from tumblr and other unproductive interwebz enough to get all this done.
Was just told by my dad that beyond this quarter I have to come up with rent and tuition 100% on my own. Couldn’t have told me this before? I just want to crawl under my blankets and never come out.
I drank an entire bottle on my own last night and subsequently embarrassed myself by saying stupid shit to multiple people. I really need to cut down and just stop drinking alone in general. Thank you friends for putting up with me. I don’t know why though you do though haha.
so tired that I feel like I am going to start crying an vomiting at the same time any minute now
JUST APPLIED FOR A JOB
COVER LETTER AND EVERYTHING
PLEASE HIRE ME
I WILL ROCK AT IT (as long as you don’t schedule me during classes) I SWEAR
I want to get a care-taking job but not tell my dad about it until I have enough saved up to buy him a new computer.
it’s so beautiful outside
wish I had a free friend to go to the beach with :(
feeling sad and feeling lonely
tomorrow I am going to write one friend a letter, call another one, and then lock myself in the library for the rest of the weekend.
bby left to go back to Washington.
This time is so much harder and sadder than the last time :(